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STINKER AWARDS
FOR PEARL AND LARA
Copyright 2002 www.guardianunlimited.co.uk
[ March 23rd 2002 ]
Pearl
Harbor and Lord of the Rings have won motion picture
awards! As the red carpet for Sunday's Oscars
ceremony was being metaphorically rolled out,
two sets of Hollywood's least-coveted awards were
announced yesterday.
The Los
Angeles-based Hastings Bad Cinema Society said
that Tom Green had taken many of the Stinkers
Awards. He won worst film prize for Freddy Got
Fingered, as well as worst actor, worst sense
of direction and most painfully unfunny comedy
for a film that had won universal thumbs-downs
from critics across the world and even possibly
beyond. Mariah Carey took worst actress for her
part in Glitter.
Pearl
Harbor, which still harbours minor ambitions on
Oscar night, won the Stinker for worst screenplay
for a film grossing more than $100m (about £70m)
worldwide. Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles took
worst sequel, while Nicolas Cage won the prestigious
most annoying fake accent for his role in Captain
Corelli's Mandolin. David Spade took the worst
on screen hair style stinker.
The founders
of the society, Michael Lancaster and Ray Wright,
said that a special trophy has been designed in
Tom Green's honour. "It's a beautiful miniature
plastic toilet with 35mm film unspooling all around
it that makes a flushing sound when you press
the handle," said Lancaster.
In another
set of awards, Lord of The Rings took AlterNet's
2001 Keanu Awards for the most homoerotic movie.
Pearl Harbor won the most transparent revision
of history award, always a tight category. Readers
of the internet alternative news site also awarded
the best sex scene prize to Mulholland Drive and
the film that should have skipped theatres and
gone straight to video prize to Lara Croft: Tomb
Raider starring Oscar winner Angelina Jolie and
Jon Voight.
Crocodile
Dundee was among the winners again with the award
for the film that should have skipped video and
gone straight to inflight movie.
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